christmas quotes

Everyone has something to say about Christmas, and here are some quotes to prove it.


  • There is nothing sadder in this world that to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.   - Erma Bombeck
  • Aren’t we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?  You know, the birth of Santa.   - Bart Simpson, The Simpsons
  • I love Christmas.  I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange.    - Henny Youngman
  • The one thing women do not want to find in their stockings Christmas morning is their husband.   - Joan Rivers
  • Ever since Eve gave Adam the apple, there has been a misunderstanding between the sexes about gifts.  – Nan Robertson, The New York Times, November 28, 1957
  • A woman may race to get a man a gift, but it always ends in a tie.   – Earl Wilson
  • The worst gift is a fruitcake.  There is only one fruitcake in the world and people keep sending it to each other.  – Johnny Carson
  • The day after Christmas is like the day after senior prom, everybody asking each other, “What did you get?”   -  Jay Leno
  • Next to a circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out of town any quicker than the Christmas spirit.  – Kin Hubbard
  • I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year – E. Scrooge, Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol
  • Why is it that when snooty department stores put their Christmas decorations out just after the summer sales it's classed as “elegant foresight”, but when I leave my Christmas lights up until April, my neighbours think I’m just tacky?   - Alisa Meadows
  • The best stocking stuffer is a human leg.  – Norm MacDonald
  • Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else.  We start drinking early.  And while every one else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.  – W.C. Fields
  • From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.  –Kathernie Whitehorn
  • God Bless us every one.  – Tiny Tim, Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol


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